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Thursday, June 4, 2009
How It Was Meant To Be...
Im not supposed to blog now....
But i got to know bout something just now and i can't sleep...
A friend who knew my secret told me that another person knew bout it too..
I was stunned, shocked and devastated.. I wonder how she knows... But from what i heard, the person could easily guessed from my MSN nicks, Facebook message and all.. I mean, i had made it all very vague.. The only obvious thing is the name, starts with the letter A... Millions of people in Singapore that has names starting with A, and she could guess it...
I certainly know that the people who knew my secret would not let the matter out to anyone.. I trust them with my life...
And the worse thing was, apparently, most people i knew, know my secret too... So there will be a great chance for him to know as well... At first, i do not know how to react... I felt down, angry and all the feelings inside me..
But as i calmed myself down, i realised that all these is just waiting to happen.... It had been 3 years since i kept that secret. Keeping a safe distance and trying to appear uninterested or unaffected. But when i knew the rest knew bout this, it was just like a bomb has exploded in front of me... I was self-shocked for words... How can this be happening??? I was in denial for a moment, practically in tears... I don't know why, but i don't want him to know... It's just too over-bearing...
All this happens so fast, and thanks to my friend who told me bout this. I will be better prepared next time... Thanks for your concern...
Also, thanks to Sham for consoling, encouraging and advising me bout all these things.. Thanks bro.. I really appreciate you comforting me when im stressed out... I will try to sum up my courage and face it like a MAN like you advised me to... I will maybe see you when i decided to play Paintball at your place..
Sorry for being overly emotional in this entry... I am seriously down and out to know the truth... It's a reality that i need to adapt to.. Hopefully "he" can accept what he knew... But i rather let nature takes its course... The truth aren't always sweet but the knowledge of it widens your perspective and views...
I will try and just be myself... Let the truth unfold itself in the future.. We will never know what the future holds...
THIS IS HOW IT MEANT TO BE....
To all, im sorry im you don't understand what im writing here.. No worries... This is just my self ranting and venting out all my emotions..You will have difficulties understanding coz i avoid writing name sin there.. I am done now and i will be fine maybe after a few weeks... Now i dunno whether i can face them or not... Hopefully i have the strength and courage to do so soon...
Will blog again later...
Take care all...
Ain
00:30 + + Ain + +
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